UNBREAKABLE by Jelena Dokic
Unbreakable is the memoir of Australian tennis star Jelena Dokic.
Jelena migrated to Australia as a refugee from Serbia and is known for her ferocious on court play and, of course, her infamous father Damir, who was labelled the “tennis Dad from hell”. In my opinion, that’s a kind description of him.
Jelena wrote this book, I think in part as a catharsis but also to try to help people understand what she had been through, in her tennis career at the hands of her father, and to give some explanation for her sometimes poor behaviour. I don’t think anyone who watched Jelena’s career could have been in doubt that things were very difficult for her. Her father was known as an abusive drunk, and that was just in public.
I don’t want to focus too much on Damir. I have a degree of empathy for him - it would seem he grew up and lived in deeply difficult circumstances himself and carries deep trauma from war in the Balkans. But there is no excuse for his abuse of Jelena - her descriptions of the physical and emotional trauma inflicted on her are truly confronting to read. He’s a bastard. I suspect he was a scared man, who desperately wanted a life different to what he had, and along the way became intoxicated by his own fame and notoriety. He made a lot of bad choices, and I guess now he lives with the consequences of those.
I found several elements of Jelena’s story really jarring, but aside from her father’s abuse (and her mother’s seeming indifference to it), I think the thing that made me most angry was the lack of support and kindness shown to Jelena by many in the Australian tennis world. I know that as young women playing alongside Jelena, many of her compatriots probably didn’t understand what was happening and so responded to what they did understand. - her iciness. However I think that there were a lot of people who did know, or should have known, what was happening to Jelena and they did nothing, and I think that was based on racism and sexism. I hope there are many who’ve offered Jelena an apology for the way they acted towards her, even if in the moment they didn’t understand fully what her situation was. There’s no question jealousy would have played a part in it too. Jelena was a victim of her father, but she was a victim of the worst of Australia too, and that makes me pretty mad.
My main interest is, and remains, Jelena. She was an incredible player and I have seen her play in Melbourne many times. She always looked cold and focussed, but there was always a sadness in her eyes too. She knows she could have won a slam, she could have been number one in the world. She knows her best was robbed of her. And yet somehow, she has stayed positive. Since finishing her career, life has remained a rollercoaster for Jelena, and she documents her most vulnerable moments on social media with a candour most lack. It is there, and watching her brilliant commentary during the Australian summer of tennis each year, that I’ve become an avowed fan. I feel almost protective of her, even though I have never met her. I want to always make sure she has the love and support around her that she deserves, and the opportunity to do and be the person she wants to be. She deserves at least that much.
This moving memoir, written with sports writer Jessica Halloran, was one I could not put down. My heart soared and broke, soared and broke for Jelena. Now, as an Australian tennis fan, I’m just mightily impressed by this woman. Even on her worst days, she is strong and brave. She has so much that so many can learn from in resilience and compassion. She has a gorgeous relationship now with her little brother, Savo, which must be a source of strength for her.
Jelena, I am so sorry you did not receive the support you deserved from so many along the way. I am so pleased you made it out the other side, and I hope you continue to shine brightly in all you do. This unabashed fan is looking forward to reading Fearless and watching you continue to reach wonderful new heights. You (and your book) are so loved.