DINNERS WITH RUTH: A MEMOIR ON THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIPS by Nina Totenberg

A memoir on the power of friendships

Dinners with Ruth: A Memoir on the Power of Friendships is written by Nina Totenberg, who some will know as the Legal Affairs reporter with American radio NPR. The book a memoir about her life, grounded in her relationships with the power players of Washington D.C., none more than her friend of 50 years, the late Supreme Court Justice, Ruth Bader Ginsberg.

Totenberg and Ginsburg became friends in the early 1970s when Totenberg rang Ginsberg for information on a case being argued. At the time, Ginsburg was an academic in law at Rutgers University. It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship between the women, and showed a side of both that was lovely to read. We often imagine powerful women compete with each other and tear each other down. Sometimes that is true, but in this case, the opposite was true and they were able to support each other over decades through pain and grief, career highlights and triumphs.

It needs to be a truly awful book about Ruth Bader Ginsburg for me to criticise, and this is not that book. I really liked reading about Totenberg’s career - as an Australian, I am not as familiar with her work as Americans are, although I do know her notable career highlights (particularly her interview with Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings in 1991). I especially enjoyed reading about the SCOTUS Justices behind closed doors - those who were cooperative and charming people and those who…weren’t. We have traditionally not known much about the private lives of SCOTUS Justices and this was great insight into that. It even had moments where I could find grudging respect for Antonin Scalia as a person (but most certainly NOT for his legal jurisprudence!).

I enjoyed reading about the type of friend Ruth was to Nina. I know so much about her career, on and off the court, and about her public persona through the RBG documentary and books. This was a different angle, and one which I liked. To be completely fair though, it would take something significant to make me shift from my heroine view of RBG - her dissent collar is tattooed onto my shoulder for a reason.

This was an easy read - it took me only two days and was well written. I’d expect nothing less of a career journalist. However, the narrative flowed and remained unbiased enough to be believable while combining the elements of a memoir that make it personable. For that reason, I think it’s a great book. It doesn’t oversell the importance of female friendships - spoiler alert: they are essential! But it does emphasise that women who value those friendships and maintain bonds are far more likely to have a smoother ride through life, and that’s a lesson I’m learning too, as I age.

Dinners with Ruth was a delightful read and I recommend it to you.