...one I'd rather not go through again, either. It's not been a fun week but some big, difficult decisions were required and I made them. Some tears have been shed but I'm ready to step forward now into the big wide world, ready for whatever comes next.
I've been writing and re-writing applications for study next year - fifteen years after my first attempt (which failed dismally), I'm applying to study Law. When I was 20-ish I wasn't ready, either for the commitment, the workload or the magnitude of what I wanted to do. Much has changed in the intervening time, but the pull towards law has always remained and it wasn't until recently I really allowed myself to think I could do it. It was the encouragement of my Godmother that set me out investigating my options, and the more I read and consider it, the more it makes sense. I can work in art-based legal fields, with a genuine understanding of the needs of artists and creatives. That's the plan at this stage, but we'll see if I get in and where it all leads me.
I am feeling more and more like I want to retreat into my art. It's so hard to keep putting myself out there. Yes, I get a lot of love and support. But I get my share of hate mail too, people who expect me to defend what I do to them. This is art. It's my art and I don't want to have to defend what I do. People can call it whatever they want, label it however they like. I don't actually mind what people call it. But I do mind people personally attacking me simply for doing what I love. I don't care what pens or paper you use, I don't care what you call it. Truly. Just enjoy it.
I want to enjoy my art. I want to remember what it's like to do something for fun. Not wonder what judgement might come from it. And I want that for other artists too - professional, amateur, whatever. Let's not get all elitist and judgemental on each other. What that all means for me going forward - this blog, future projects.... who knows?
Beyond that, be cool folks.