some clarity and love

it's hard to know where to start when I read all the comments to my last post, as well as the emails and facebook mesages I've had. All I can say is THANKYOU. The support has been strengthening and loving and I feel very humbled and a little embarrassed to have illicited so much attention. I guess that's what happens with a blog post!! 

I am feeling a lot better the past few days. I got up a couple of mornings back and decided: no-one is going to ruin my day today. No-one. And they didn't, because I didn't allow them to. Since then I've felt a stronger. I'm starting to find some clarity in my thoughts and planning for moving forward.

I've been working on some things for several months now, in terms of opening a physical space for retail, workshops and studios. It's been something I've thought over for years but this year I started really working on. I've felt lost, though, as to how to make it happen. Make it real. And I've questioned (especially lately) if I want to open myself to criticism and hate from others - much of which is about them but directed at me. Am I strong enough for that?

I still haven't decided.

One thing that has helped is a Skype call I had today with Stef from Teahouse Studio in Berkeley, CA. She put the word out that she had some mentoring spots available and so I bought one. 

I did this a little spur of the moment but I am SO glad I did.

Teahouse Studio is exactly the kind of community I want to build.

Teahouse is a very similar model for what I am hoping to create, so I was keen to know more about what they do, how they do it and how it's working for them. With the feeling of being "all over the place" recently, I felt that talking with someone who really got it might be helpful - even if that meant I accepted that my dreams are a long way off reality. 

That is not at all how I feel post-mentoring session.

Stef was fantastic - honest and realistic, but supportive and thoughtful too. I'm still absorbing it all truthfully, but I have written some key messages down and I know there are things I can do to take steps forward. Whether the dream takes the original form, who knows? But I don't feel quite so much like I am banging my head against a brick wall now!

Thankyou Stef for your wisdom and honesty. I am a pretty plain speaker and I always appreciate others too, who say it as they see it with their heart right in with it.

So what now?

Well - I am applying to part time study next year. I don't know if I'll get in but if I don't apply, I wont. So I will apply. And I am progressing forward with my dreams, working towards making them a reality. And I am taking some time for me - to just let the dust settle a little and refocus on the important stuff.

Thankyou again - one and all for your love and support this week. It's so comforting to know my people are out there.