...and the toughest are usually the most important, which I have faced over the weekend. I felt a bit out of sorts last week. I felt overwhelmed and that something wasn't exactly right, but I didn't know what.
I spent about three days catching up on work for the Hello Soul Hello Business course. It has been so rich in content, it has taken some time to work through. This meant I did almost no work for university last week.
Late Saturday night, I realised this and also recognised that not only did I not feel guilty about that, but I didn't care. It's only a month in but I realised (in my moments of overwhelm and fatigue) that the Masters degree isn't 'speaking' to me - I do not feel attached to it, to the content. A "too fast" assessment? Maybe. But sometimes, in your soul, you know when something isn't right for you. Your intuition tells you that this isn't the work you're meant to be doing.
And that's the other thing - I spend a LOT of time learning. Educating myself, formally and informally. I'm a firm believer that when we stop learning - when we think we know it all - life will deliver a swift kick in the bum and teach us something new (and usually it's a painful lesson!). But one thing I don't do with all my learning, all my PLANNING, is much DOING. I have lots of good ideas. Lots of dreams and goals. And sometimes I pursue them in that 20 second flash of courage we all have from time to time.But not often enough.
That is going to change.
Today I defered my Masters until 2013, when I can decide if I withdraw or if my situation has changed and it becomes something I want to pursue. Right now, it is not what I am meant to be doing. Now is a time for action. Now is a time for some courage and (much lacking) self-belief. It is time for me to really do some things that will make me proud of myself. Some things I have been putting off (due to that inner critic) for too long. Time to take some risks. Put myself out there and give it 110%.
It's time to feed my soul.