some Sunday tidbits

On Friday I posted this:

It's all the artwork for the Zentangle Untangled Workbook, which will be released next year. It includes 4 brand new tangles and will be a book you can draw and practice directly into! This one is definitely aimed at the beginner level.

Then yesterday I went into town (as in Melbourne CBD) and went into Dymocks in Collins Street. Guess what I saw?

Two copies of Zentangle Untangled!!

Now, those who know me know I have been a little underwhelmed by the whole book publishing thing. It's not that I don't recognise it as a big deal - when I've had crafty friends get books published I've been very proud and vocally so. And I know it's kind of a big deal when an Australian author gets an international publishing deal. I do get that. But this is me. To know me is to know I am not much for naval gazing or self congratulations. I am not known for smelling the roses. I am usually mentally and emotionally moved on from things I do, both good and bad, well before anyone else is. 

And the reality is the disconnect I've felt from my book hasn't really abated. I sent the book work off literally the night before surgery last year. By the time I'd sent it, I wasn't even 100% confident I'd see it in print, and then spent so much time recovering and adjusting that when the book arrived, I almost didn't recognise it as my own. It all seems like a lifetime ago, even if it is only a year ago. So while everyone around me has been proud of me and excited, I've been..... somewhere else. I love my book, I am proud of my book. But it's just something I did. And I have done other stuff which I am also proud of, before and since. Maybe I am being overly humble. I guess I just don't ever allow myself to think I am special. I've spent a lot of time fighting the idea that my illness makes me special - maybe so much so that I've convinced myself that nothing makes me special. I know that's not true, but it does mean I am self depreciating. Annoyingly so, for many!

ALL THAT SAID - seeing those books on the shelf in a bookshop was about the most excited I've been by being an author and artist. Seeing people like Traci Bautista, Traci Bunkers, The Journal Junkies....all these great authors are there on the shelf, people I respect. And there I was with them. THAT was kind of exciting.

Don't worry, I didn't buy a copy of my book or tell anyone "hey there's my book!".

Have a great week everyone!